emilia48tc ([info]emilia48tc) wrote,
@ 2002-01-27 19:23:00
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John stood me up yesterday, and I still have had no word of explanation from him. He is not at home. He has not called me.

I think he might be married or something. There's still the remote possiblity that something is wrong--an accident, a death in the family--but I seriously doubt it. I just don't understand. It's unaccountable. He told me always that he liked me. He was the one who always suggested we make plans--never me. It was almost always him who called me. I don't understand. I'm okay, I just am sad for myself. I don't really care about him. I care about the fact that I'm afraid I'll never trust anyone again. I hate the fact that I can't trust my own judgement anymore. (Yes, I know I was wondering about him earlier on, but still, I trusted implicitly that he was a good guy). I don't think I'm going to date for a while.

I also think I need to get myself tested.

The worst was that my week before that had been pretty shitty, too. Work is stressful.

I am a fabulous, fun, witty and intelligent woman. There are a lot of shithead men out there. I don't understand why. But at least I know it doesn't have anything to do with me. I am a fabulous, fun, witty and intelligetn woman.

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[info]pmegan
2002-01-27 09:08 pm UTC (link)
Baby, I realize you're upset. but you're sort of jumping to comclusions. Maybe he got the day wrong. Maybe you got the day wrong. Maybe there was a horrible traffic accident (that he wasn't involved in) and he was 2 hours late to go meet you and when he got there you had left, and he called during the 10 minutes you were in the shower and hates answering machines.

I'm sure that there is a perfectly reasonable explanation.

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[info]emilia48tc
2002-01-28 09:48 am UTC (link)
Megan,

he has not been home for 3 days now. He has not called me with an explanation, despite the 2 messages I have left on his voice mail asking to make sure that I a.) had the day and time right or b.) that he is okay. Something has happened. Either he has really stood me up and is a huge prick, or something bad has happened. He would have left a message if I had been in the shower. He would have left a note if I had not been home. Please do not tell me that I'm being hysterical, when clearly, this boy has fallen off the face of the earth. He should have been home at some point in the past three days. He's heading towards 48 hours late at this point, and he was always 15 minutes early every other time. He would have called by now if it were something simple.

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(Anonymous)
2002-01-30 10:52 am UTC (link)
hi, this is malea and I tried to send this to you the other day, but your quota is exceeded, as you probably know. anyway, if you want to get back to me -- which would be great -- I still use my kenyon account.

hello~

I guess this is kind of odd, since I haven't talked to you in ages, but I came across your journal the other day and thought I would say hello. I mean, I have no friends in this area besides Tom, and I mean, male friends/boyfriends don't really take the place of chick friends. yeah, so I've been working on being a better correspondent.

At any rate, I just had my birthday this week, which was fun, but the big news is that I finally got a full time job. Benefits and everything. That happened last week. I've been interning here at this company since... late last september I think. It's a consulting firm, and I work with a project that's involved in health reform in developing countries. I xerox things. I like it a lot, though. Especially now that I know that they like me and want to keep me. Makes me feel less expendable. This full time business also means that I get to move out of my mom's friend's house, where I've been living since last summer. This is also good, because she lives in Fairfax VA and I work in Bethesda MD. Basically, I camp out at Tom's place most nights, which isn't exactly fun, since I'm very tired of living out of a suitcase. And maybe, just maybe, I can start having a life. I'm going to start training to volunteer at the Smithsonian soon, and, well, I might get a cat. That's about as exciting as it gets.

So what are you up to? Where are you working? Do you plan on staying in Ohiofor a long time? Ever get back to the DC area? If you feel like it, just drop me a line. I've never gotten over my kenyon compulsive e-mail checking.

hope all is well, malea

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